Sunday, December 25, 2005

More than $600

so it is now Christmas Day. when i created this blog, it was to record my "experiments" in manifesting my desires, and i started out with the desire then to attract $600 by Christmas.

so did i get my $600? no and yes.

no, i didn't get my $600 in lump sum cold hard cash (as i was half-expecting it to arrive in that form... heehee...), and yes, i did get my $600 (well, actually more, in kind and in value...).

how did i get more than $600?

1. right after i consciously set out to attract it, J just nonchalantly said he's sending me first, $50, then another $50, for our idea to send family portraits done by a professional studio to mama, and then another $120 for thea's Ipod. by accounting cost alone, that amounts to $220 already, almost instantly! but the value of having the pictures arrive at mama's doorstep a day before Christmas, and how she called us all to simply thank us for such a wonderful and precious precious gift and how it made her sooo happy and her Christmas soo complete, far surpassed the cost of the pictures and the time we gave up from our other concerns in our lives to get together as a family, just to pose for her.

then, too, seeing my siblings so happy and excited with their pictures made me decide that im going to gift them with their copies, too, as well as papa. in a way, the pictures created their own magic; we now have very vivid and very tangible objects to see and touch and remember how happy we could be, how joyous, how peaceful, how harmonious... for even just a brief moment in time in our almost constantly conflicted family.

i wasnt able to buy Thea her Ipod with the $120 J gave, because when i went to the computer store to finally buy one, i found that it could only buy me an Ipod Shuffle (stores only 120 songs, at most, and it's only feature is you can "shuffle"/organize the order of your songs) when i would have wanted Thea to have the Ipod Mini (stores 1000 songs and you can do so much more than just shuffling them), at least. so, what i did, instead, was to place the money in a bright Christmasy money envelope, and drew out a little questionnaire with a checklist for her, saying: since you're all grown-up now, you have the power to choose your blessing in the form you want it-- ( ) buy Ipod Shuffle; ( ) get a new wardrobe; ( ) use as seed fund for saving up for an Ipod Mini; ( ) whatever you desire!

i never expected to even benefit from the giving to my 12-year-old, but i did. Thea hugged me and thanked me many times and said she knows how hard it must have been for me to find the money for all their gifts, and then sweetly said that she thinks she's changing her mind about Ipods. she said all her friends who have Ipods just use their Ipods for showing off anyway, and it doesn't mean anything more. she said she'd rather use the money for something more productive, like taking computer animation lessons come summertime, or more acting/voice/theater lessons, to follow her dream of becoming an international star someday!

of course, that gave me a sweet ache and made me misty-eyed!!! imagine that from a 12-year-old. my young lady's heart is in the right place, huh? i must be doing something right...

all of the above, just from J's $220! imagine that!

i have more blessings to count...

2. dec. 23, while i was finishing the last of my Christmas shopping (i only set out to shop for my own kids, but after revising my budget and my plans, i found that i could delay some items and free up more funds for my nephews and nieces and siblings, too), my sister shared with me that she was feeling frantic and panicky and guilt-ridden, just because she hadn't even started on her Christmas shopping even for her own kids yet, because funds were so tight, they were delivering on their catering business, but clients haven't paid up in full yet. she was crying that night, texting me from somewhere while waiting for a taxi, because all their vehicles were used for the catering business, and i felt so bad for her, i immediately prayed a demanding prayer, even: God, send my sister and her husband abundance and prosperity RIGHT NOW!!!

well, what do you know? ten minutes later, my sister texted me to let me know somebody just called her over the phone to place an order, and that they'll be paying in cash right that evening, just as their shop was closing!!! the new customer's order was worth 18k (around $300)!!!

so yesterday, my sister was finally able to do her Christmas shopping for her kids (i told her not to worry about me and my kids and the rest of the family. there was a time when she "carried" me the first two Christmases after the sep and i couldn't afford my own Christmas shopping; now it's my time to lighten her load too).

so, that makes $520 now.

3. i am just feeling so abundant and rich now, from all the gift-giving i did, even to family i normally didn't give gifts to, that the feeling is definitely worth more than just the $80 remaining to make my $600 come true.

i am realizing now that i didn't actually need the $600 itself, but for what it could bring me and my kids.

what i needed was the resources to be able to fulfill my kids' Santa wish list, and that came true so joyously my kids kept hugging and thanking me and each other and saying how they loved Christmas and how this is such a perfect Christmas for us!

of course, what i did was to use some resources i already previously budgeted to pay off my housing loan arrears, but i have a substitute workable plan for that now, just extending my paying-off period to a few more months till midyear next year... and so it's okay. i really don't need a $600 lump sum cash right now; i would need to pay off the arrears, and even the whole loan itself when i can (although it's a 25year loan with 15 years left to go), though. : ) so, maybe that's what i'll pray for next time, not an exact dollar amount, but the paying off of the loan itself.

4. ai! i almost forgot to mention, a day or two ago, while i was revising my budget and plans for next year, i got a call from an old college friend who works as the news bureau chief of our top national tv network now. she asked me if i could help her out as writer and consultant in integrating and consolidating all their division plans into one big master plan, and even add in my own ideas on recommendations to improve the network's ratings! : O (wow... i am amazed at her trust in my abilities!) and she wants it done before the New Year!

of course that would mean added income, definitely more than the $80 remaining to cover for the $600 i wished for!!!

oohhh HUGGGGSSSSS and blessed be, blessed me!!!

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