Monday, February 14, 2011

After 21 Days

Time February 13, 2011 at 4:17 pm; comment posted at Chopra Center's 21-Day Challenge thread
When I embarked on this Challenge, I was clear about my Intention– Wealth.
During the 21 days, that was the easiest thing to manifest. All around me there were seedlings of wealth sprouting in all forms and sending resources my way! I got offers for projects and speaking/training engagements, and my brother even pleasantly surprised me with an advanced birthday offer for a vacation package with my kids anywhere I chose in the Philippines! And the Intention just continues to grow clearer and stronger as I see the seedlings sprouting more and more and growing sturdier everywhere! 
I did not expect, though, for the spotlight to actually be focused on my own heart, which I thought all along was okay and healed and happy already. This Challenge showed me certain still-closed, still-hurting places, and it showed me certain aspects and ways of being and doing that I express, particularly in a primary love relationship, that is doing my Self a disservice, giving too much without expecting anything back. It taught me: how can I receive all the wealth and abundance God has in store for me when I do not allow my self also to receive all the Love that I deserve, as a worthy Child of God and the Universe?
LOVE'S WAY: The Union of Body, Ego, Soul and SpiritAt present, this relationship is in a flux, because I have changed, I have transformed during these 21 days, and I have stopped a way of being and doing that was previously what kept our relationship together. I have decided not to leave this relationship, though, but to see it through, because I do love the person I am with. I just understand now that I need to stand still and be patient and gentle, as I wait out this uncomfortable space, for Love to further reveal itself to us, and for him to do his part, too. If he doesn’t, I’m still okay; I’ve released the outcome to the Universe. For now, I’ve decided that I’ll just give this all I’ve got and wait it out even as I do inner work. 
So, thank you, Chopra Center and all my fellow journeyers here!
I started out just wanting more money (heehee), and ended up with a softer, more healed heart, a relationship in the throes of transformation, and even a career direction also currently in the midst of questioning and evaluation and discernment.
Thank you for all these gifts! I know I am being set more and more aright with my True Self now.
Namaste, and abundant blessings to us all!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Debugging the Program

It's been five years (going on 6 this year) since I started this blog and this experiment.  It's been one wild, messy, unpredictable adventure but well worth it!  I have now love, joy, peace, healing and good health, wisdom and abundance in my life.  More importantly, I have grown spiritually and have been "set aright", restored, come "home" to Me at last.

One last thing that still bugs me, though, is why money still comes in trickles in my life.  Ohh, I get what I need, just in time, and I have enough, but that's just it-- I just have enough.  There's still tomorrow to think about and I still get anxious and worried sometimes, although less so now than 5 years ago, because I KNOW now, I am always provided for.  Still, surely, there must be more to Life than this!  Surely, my Father God meant for me more abundance than this?!

Yesterday was the last straw.  I just got my commission from a family business project I'm in, and after treating my self to a long- and much-deserved facial and beauty salon treat and my favorite Tantanmen with bottomless red iced tea at RaiRaiKen (Feel good!  Keep the "vibrational pose" of Joy, is what I call it), I had just enough to cover the next immediate needs at home and my youngest daughter's new outfit for her older sister's birthday party this coming Saturday.  Then, I started thinking about the other things to cover still in the next days, and actually started feeling anxious, too, not knowing where the next set of funds will come from.

So, to quell the growing anxiety, I kept reminding my self Facebook for Christ's admonition:  "Just because you don't see a way doesn't mean God doesn't have a way!"  I also kept repeating to my self my ACIM (A Course in Miracles) Lesson 233:  "I give my life to God to guide today"  and these helped to stem the growing tide of worry and doubt in me.  (I've gotten quite good at this now.)

A Course in Miracles, Combined Volume: Text, Workbook for Students, and Manual for Teachers

If God guided me to just go ahead and cover for the needs today, "What next then, God?"  -- was my silent thought as the day ended, though.  Although I felt good from the treat and being able to cover the day's needs; I also had only P300 left.  Still, I raised the question up to God in my heart, and just kept on the stance of waiting and being empty, for God's guidance to fill me and lead me.

Before I slept last night, I continued my reading of Pete Sanders' "You are Psychic!"; I'm down to the last few chapters now, exactly on the chapter on self-healing and biofeedback.  Then, as I rested, I was drawn to the book on my bedside table, which I retrieved from my library last New Year's Day while I was doing New Year's cleaning:  Dr. Joseph Murphy's "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind."

I skipped the first chapters and went straight to the chapters on wealth and riches, and this time, I understood the words better.  (I read them more than 20 years ago and even underlined important parts, but I never really understood them, at a heart and soul level.)

(Here comes the program debugging part...)

And I basically re-learned this:  why I'm still not getting the avalanche of money I desire and believe now is coming my way is because the pictures in my mind do not yet closely match my desire!  I envision paper bills flowing down on me, yes; even a check for $$$$$$$ with my name on it being happily received by me, but my emotional charge level on this is not as much as when I envision what I will do with all that amount:  pay off bills and debts, relocate, travel, very good U.S. schools for the kids.... and even when I envision these, some part of me actually feels anxious because there's the thought that says, "how am I going to afford all these?"

So, there is still a mis-match.  I want wealth and money in avalanches, but my pictures are actually of expenses to cover, bills and debts to pay!  And I have never really clarified yet my attitudes about and relationship with money!  Just saying: "I like money.  I love money!" made me feel uncomfortable at first.

Dr. Murphy suggests just focusing on this one word, "Wealth", because it does not create a conflict between the conscious and subconscious minds.  He also adds the following affirmation, "By day and by night, I am being prospered in all my ways."

When I tried these, I instantly felt a shift in energy!  "Wealth" just made me feel good all over, washing over me, while "By day and by night, I am being prospered in all my ways" felt definitely larger and lighter than "Thank You, God, for the $$$$$$$ already in my name, that I'm already receiving quickly and effortlessly!  This, or something better."

And then I was reminded of a voice inside me earlier that day which said, "If you're not yet getting what you've asked for, it's because you haven't asked for A Bigger Thing" and I just realized this is what it meant--- that the specific $$$$$$$ amount I've been asking for is such a limited thing compared to "Wealth" in all ways and forms, and to being "prospered, day and night, in all my ways"!

And then, as I took my brisk walk early this morning, I realized that I have not received the avalanche of money and wealth I've long desired yet is that because I haven't consciously focused on it:  MONEY.  I've always just prayed for abundance and blessings before, and I did have them and continue to do so now in the realm of peace of mind, joy, happy loving relationships, fulfilling and successful work,... but I wasn't very specific about money!

Also, I needed to check and clarify my attitude towards money, and picking up from Dr. Murphy's suggested statement which I just edited and adapted to suit my needs and comfort level, this is what I'm feeling good about affirming now:

"I like money.  I love money!  And money loves me!  It comes to me in avalanches, in many ways and forms, and I receive them all  happily and effortlessly!  I use money wisely and judiciously, to bless my self and others.  I release money with joy, and it comes back to me a hundredfold, a thousandfold, a millionfold, even a hundredmillionfold, to be released back again with joy, and to continue to bless my self and others with it!  Money comes to me in avalanches now, in all ways, in all forms!"

I've gotten quite adept in my meditations now and I'm going to focus on this as I meditate more regularly twice daily now, especially with Chopra Center's 21-Day Meditation Challenge, and as I continue my spiritual studies with A Course in Miracles and my other daily readings and practices.

The Soul Of Healing Meditations

I'll let you know what happens after 21 days or so, on Feb. 14, 2011, to be exact.

Friday, January 01, 2010

2010 Day 1 Early Morning Lesson

I feel bad. And on a New Year's morning at that! : (

Nope, it's not about me nor my life (thank God for that, at least!). It's about someone in my household I was trying to help.

Weeks ago, a colleague asked me for recommendations as to whom I can refer to her to help her cook for her children around the New Year, as they were flying in from many parts of the country with their families to celebrate New Year with her. And she said that, this time, she wanted to enjoy them as well as the occasion, instead of slaving away at her kitchen feeding them all.

So I recommended our laundress. She's a widow with grown children but whose grand kids have been left with her for caretaking as her grown children seem to not be able to take care of themselves on their own... They lead messy lives and have dumped their own young children on her.

Manang Lisa only comes to our house once a week to do the laundry. Actually, we don't need her services anymore because I have two washing machines and a dryer at that. But we still keep her on if only to add a little bit more to her income, since her other incomes are irregular, what we in the Philippines call "remedio heneral" (literally, "general remedy", wherever it can be found.)

So I recommended Manang Lisa to my colleague, and they arranged a meeting for my colleague to pick her up yesterday at 1pm at Jollibee Lopue's East, so that she could start working for my colleague for 4 days, where she will be paid P200 a day, net of transportation expenses. I thought that was settled, and felt good knowing that Manang Lisa would be starting the year right with sure extra money.

But, things happen, and--calming down a bit more now as I write this--I guess, the things that happen reveal character and life lessons to us if only we pay keener attention.

Manang Lisa had very painful diarrhea yesterday, according to her. So she sent one of her grown sons to tell me early in the morning yesterday. But her grown son only came to me yesterday at around 2pm already, when my colleague had been waiting for Manang Lisa at Jollibee's East for 1 hour already!

So I told the son to go to his mom quick, and at least take her to Jollibee's East to talk to my colleague and let her know of the situation and arrange a new set-up with her. And I also texted my colleague yesterday to just wait for Manang Lisa a little bit more as I sent the son to fetch the mom.

Not hearing any more from either for the rest of the afternoon and evening yesterday, I thought things were worked out between them, only to find this morning, upon my waking up, that Manang Lisa never did get to go meet my colleague yesterday.

And I feel soooo bad, imagining my in-her-fifties colleague, waiting for nothing yesterday, and having to contend with cooking for her large brood at the last hour, without any backup!

I rarely recommend people, but when I do, it's because I believe in them and want to help both parties.

Needless to say, this is an embarassment to me, and of course, a loss of potential additional income for Manang Lisa. My colleague has quickly found a replacement, at least, thank God!

Of course I felt very angry at what happened. Sloppiness always upsets me, in addition to dishonesty and cruelty of any form.

But I try to calm and center my self, considering that it's the New Year, and force my self to find the gem in the mud. "Nothing happens by accident." "The Universe always delivers me perfection, each and every moment." I try to recall past quotes and affirmations learned and used, as I will my self to calm down and not let this get to me.

Why is this happening? What is there for me to learn?

And then it dawns upon me:

Many times, the Universe helps us with our needs for abundance, like more money, or more of what we need and desire, and the Universe usually courses it through people and circumstances. Since this is a physical world, too, there has to be physical channels.

However, we not only have to be open to them and ready for them and say "Yes!" to them, we also have to ACT on them with commitment and follow through. Receiving is not a passive matter. We have to go out there and TAKE what we've been given, and not let anything like diarrhea, stop us from receiving it.

And when we start receiving it, it's only the beginning, to get the momentum going. We have to keep maintaining the open-ness and the saying "Yes!" and the committed action to reaching out for more of it, until it fully manifests in our lives.

That's how God's Help, the Universe's assistance, miracles, deliverance, whatever-you-call-it -- works.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

God, Energy and Bea's Question

i was driving to and back from Paolo's friend's house this evening, where he's been sleeping over for the 2nd night in a row now, to bring him a fresh change of clothes.  

while driving on almost auto-pilot mode, i was deep inside my self, turning over in my mind all the many lessons i learned from this morning's presentation by CENECO general manager, Mr. Sulpicio Lagarde, Jr. i invited him weeks ago to speak to my Econ1 classes on electricity generation, transmission, distribution and costs and energy efficiency and sustainability, in relation to our class lessons on production and cost theory. he surpassed our expectations by also discussing concerns on global warming and the need to downscale our postmodern energy-dependent lifestyles, as well as inspired us to do something about our laws and systems to support a more sustainable and energy-renewable lifestyle.  

i was particularly struck by the metaphor that hit me of the process of generation, transmission and distribution. he said that 138,000 volts from the main generator becomes converted to only 13,200 volts by the transmission line, and even further down to 230 volts when it's distributed, because of conduction resistance. and it struck me that Energy generation, transmission and distribution is like God's Spirit and Blessings--  

God is the generator and He/She yearns to give us All things Good and in Abundance, but we, as transmission/distribution lines, can only take so much, because of "resistance", and so whatever Good there is flowing through us becomes diluted in more digestible form, although they are still Good, of course.  

and then i remembered one lesson i learned years ago from my Silva Method readings and courses, about an elementary principle in electricity: the best conductor is the one with the least impedance/resistance.  

and i thought how this is explained now by what happens when one goes regularly and deeply into meditation practice: how one gets clearer, less "impeded", thus one experiences more Good in one's life, both as a receiver and as a channel for Good too for others.  

and then my youngest, 9-year-old Bea, who has been sitting quietly in the dark back seat of the car i forgot she was there, suddenly pipes up: Ma, what's the difference between a spirit and a soul? (this has happened so often already, how the kids pick up on the direction of my secret thoughts while i'm driving, that i take it as naturally as breathing now!)  

and so, inhaling deeply, i gave it my best shot, responding from my heart: Spirit is that invisible part of you which is a part of God's Spirit, while Soul is that invisible part of you which is you, your personality, your emotions, your talents and likes and dislikes, 'langga (dear one).  

Bea: like twins?  

me: ye-esss... sort of, except that they're together, they stick together, there's just one invisible you, and part of it is Spirit and part of it is Soul.  

Bea: what's our body for, then?  

me: (pause) me: we-ell... it's like our clothes, or the car we drive, to make our way in this earth. since the earth is a physical thing, then we need to be put in something physical too.  

Bea: wowwww... so it's like, we go in and out of different bodies?  

me: ye-eess. after we die, we go back to the lower levels of Heaven closest to the earth, and we review our life and see how we did and what lessons we learned and what lessons we didn't learn. and then, we decide what to learn next so we can improve and get closer to being more like God. the more we become like God, the higher we go up in Heaven, until someday, we are together with God again, completely, and we never have to be apart again.  

Bea: so earth is like school, and Heaven, too? there are many levels?  

me: yes.  

Bea: so right now, i'm also made up of some dead person's spirit and soul?  

me: ye-es... and that dead person before was you too.  

Bea: wowwwww.... so i'm many persons?  

me: yes.... in this earth, living many lives, at different times and places, like taking many subjects, until you master them all and become perfect like God.  

Bea: if God made me, and God is already perfect, why didn't He make me perfect too, so i don't have to be separated from Him in the first place?  

me: (long pause)  

Bea: well?  

me: God did make us all perfect. And He also gave us free will. So we were perfect to start with, but with our free will, we chose to do things which made us imperfect... until we learn that it really doesn't work out for us in the end when we insist on our own way...  

Bea: why would i want to do imperfect things? (Bea is our perfectionist in the family.)  

me: you don't think they're imperfect when you choose to do them; you think they're perfect, especially when you haven't spent time with God a lot.  

Bea: ok.  

me: (silent prayer: God, where is she going with all this??? Holy Spirit, help me!)  

Bea: so if i don't want to do imperfect things that i thought were perfect, i should spend more time with God? me: yes. so you will know God's Heart. and His Heart connects with your heart more strongly. and you can hear His Heart in your heart more clearly.  

Bea: ok. that makes sense.  

by this time, we had arrived home.  

and Bea ran out to eat her newly-bought Berry Strawberry ice cream in front of the tv. while i-- i am left with these thoughts, and shell-shocked by the experience.  

whoa, where did all that come from???

Thursday, January 22, 2009

How to Stay in Joy/Keep Feeling Good (Because It's the Good Feelings that Attract the Good Things)

Because of this, I came up again with these, what i have found effective so far over the years-- just to remind me of what to do when i don't know what to do anymore:

1. Remember: do not be anxious nor worry about results. They will come, in due time. It's the FEELING GOOD THAT ATTRACTS THE GOOD THINGS, so stay in joy and keep feeling good, even if you're not seeing any results yet!

2. Count all your blessings. Not just make a mental list. Write it down, too!

3. Just take the Next Step in faith. That's all Life asks of you. The Universe will do the rest. Just take the next step.

4. Reach for relief. Reach for a "feel good" thought.

5. Pleasure yourself. In all the little ways that give you pleasure and joy, which soon add up to bigger ways and joys. (Treat your self to a coffee or even dinner date, beauty salon or spa pampering, or even "self-pampering" :> ).

6. Do something good for someone else.

7. Live in the Now. Just attend to the Present Moment and live there, fully.

8. Pay attention to what you're feeling now, feel it fully, verbalize/express it... and then, let it go.

9. Do something productive-- even if it's as simple as cleaning your dresser top or reorganizing your closet. Take your mind off your concern by doing something that produces good results because you already do it well.

10. Get the facts on your concern. Do not stew in your worst assumptions and imaginations. Research. Ask. Ask the relevant persons concerned. Ask the right people.

11. Breathe more deeply.

12. Take a nap.

13. Turn off the cellphone, tv, radio, and yes, even the Internet-connected computer (after this is done). Sit and meditate and pray, instead.

14. Meditate and pray.

15. Journalize.

16. Take a long, self-pampering bath.

17. Deep-condition your hair as you listen to classical music.

18. Pamper your skin with gentle, loving strokes with moisturizer or lotion. : )

19. Put on red lipstick.

20. Watch Mr. Bean, The Nanny, That 70s Show and eat ice cream sloowwwwwwly.

this should do, for now.

Monday, November 24, 2008


Hope is like a road in the country; there wasn't ever a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.

-Lin Yutang

Sunday, November 23, 2008

8 Ways to Increase Hope

Don't let bad news and depressing outer circumstances get you down. You can still create hope, for your self and for others. To read more, please click here.

1. Be kind to your self. Take "care breaks" as frequently as you need to.

2. Create a daily 5-minute silence ritual to stay connected to your Soul.

3. Curtail your intake of news.

4. Treat each day like a precious gift. Be vigilant in looking for things and people to appreciate. What if today was the last day of your life?

5. Take a break to savor Nature and to remind you of the timeless ways and truths of Life.

6. Express love tangibly.

7. Say this affirmation every day and see where it leads you: "I am the key to Peace."

8. Make a positive difference. Our accumulated gestures of care and compassion will ultimately transform our lives and the lives of others. We are each the source of that transformation.