Wednesday, December 21, 2005

carpe diem

i went ahead today to withdraw the 18k i will be using to buy the top three items on the children's Santa list, with my worst-case scenario decision being that of paying only the housing loan company two months' worth of arrears and the rest to be renegotiated through monthly payments covering two months' arrears each month, until it is fully updated by midyear.

it's not that i spoil the kids; it's just that they're growing up and the items on their wish list for this year are techno items, like my eldest Thea's Wacom tablet, which i know she can put to good use anyway honing her artistic talents, and a push up towards her dream of becoming a computer animation artist. little Bea wants a Barbie laptop of her own and i saw one priced at 6k but very good for preschoolers her age, as it's a learning laptop too. Polo wants those model robots and cars which he has started collecting by buying one each time he saves up enough for them and i see the painstaking effort and concentration he puts into building those models for hours on end.

i see it as not just buying toys for them but investing in their minds and talents.

the house can wait. ive done it before, i'll do it again. besides, with the tough times these days, i also know that the government housing loan company has more loan defaults than prompt payments these days, and that they are very open to renegotiations as long as the loan is not completely defaulted. i did my research. : )

then, too, im making room for that magical $600 to manifest itself. : )

this is my way of trusting in the Universe and its abundance, by going ahead anyway to fulfill my heart's (my children's hearts, actually, but my children are my heart, too) desires, secure in the thought that we will be taken care of and provided for with whatever needs that come up next.

just walking trustingly now, one foot in front of the other, not really sure what's beyond the bend, but with childlike faith and trust that we will be okay.
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