Monday, December 19, 2005

letting go

i was too tired and sleepy and downhearted last night to even open chapter 4, much less do some more clarifying exercises on my journal.

so i climbed into bed instead, said our prayers with my youngest, Bea, thanking God for everything in our lives--

thank you, God, for our food
for our house and keeping it safe,
for our happy home
and healthby bodies
and happy family.
thank you, God, for this Christmas vacation when we get to do anything that we pleased,
for toys, and movies, and books,
and friends and family and all that is good!

and somehow, that made me feel a lot better, and as i drifted off to sleep i decided that i'd just let God and let go, just giving my burden of worries and anxieties and frustrations up to Him/Her! im not doing a lot keeping it close to me, might as well give it up.

today i woke up still feeling groggy, but lighter. a little thought tried to assail me again, you've given it up to God, what if you won't get the $600 in time for christmas anyway?

i shrugged it off and said, so what? then i will just have to make do with whatever i have and try to make the best of it. the kids and i have been through worse, and we've not only survived but thrived beautifully. we are already so rich and so blessed in so many other ways! the money will come when it's time, i trust and know that now. God will provide, God always provides. there's more where all these good things come from, for sure!

that silenced that little annoying birdie off. hmp.

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