Reprinted in full from Anisa Aven's free email newsletter. For details on Ms. Aven's work, please check out her website at the end of this post. Thank you!
Q: How can I find harmony and peace with my husband? I am a
"Polly Anna", eternally optimistic and believe in the law of
attraction. He is the eternal pessimist and a true "Sarah
Burnhart"... What can I do?- C.
With a relationship that is core-attitude incompatible such
as a Pollyanna and an Oscar-the-Grouch, the one that
understands the power of the mind, is the one that can
intentionally create peace and harmony in the relationship.
In other words, the one that is willing to intentionally
apply the law of attraction to improve the relationship is
the one that will ultimately be the cause of that
Of course, there's a couple of catches!
When we choose to change or grow our relationship, we must
do this by being willing to first, accept the relationship
as it is; without exception and without an attachment to the
change we desire. I'll explain why this is true, shortly.
Second, it's important to remember that there's always a
price and a pay-off to every change. When we choose to
intentionally change a relationship, we can ultimately
attract our ideal relationship (even from within the one we
have) but not without change.
Therefore, be open, willing, and prepared for changes. It
may not come in the package or form that we originally
planned. Remember, there are two creators involved here and
therefore compromise, flexibility and growth will be
required on both sides. This is true whether both parties
are aware of the intentions of the other or not.
Now, getting back to the first catch, you must apply the law
of detachment by accepting that your mate may never change
and be willing to be at peace with this exactly as it
Making peace with your reality is the art of detachment.
Practicing detachment does not mean you are giving up on
your desire for a more harmonious relationship.
Quite the contrary, you are giving up on your desire to have
your mate be someone they are not. You keep the desire for
harmony and that becomes your magnetic beacon.
By focusing on the essence of harmony and calling that into
your experience, you literally inspire those around you to
act, be, and do things that are in alignment with that
harmony. And, you inspire yourself to not be present when
this isn't the case.
You are, through the intentional act of surrendering to what
is, exchanging attachment for detachment, resentment for
forgiveness and rejection for love.
Therefore, if you want to inspire changes within your
relationship, choose to surrender to loving it just the way
Then, begin to put your focus, attention, and intention on
the love, harmony, optimism, fun, adventure, connection,
passion, etc. that you want to experience at the core of
By imagining that you experience these things within the
relationship every day, you create a wave of magnetic energy
that ripples through your home. Your loved ones will
literally feel inspired to ride that wave and in a boomerang
fashion return the love you are sending out, as if they no
longer want to present their 'negative' face but instead
feel compelled to be more harmonious around you.
Recently, a client had a major breakthrough with her
relationship with her in-laws. It required a great deal of
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), creative visualization
and a willingness to love them exactly as they are.
She used EFT to eliminate her picture of how they are,
including her belief that they were disrespectful and
indifferent to her needs and that they were and always would
be selfish, self-righteous and overbearing. She then used
a great deal of creative visualization to implant into the
Infinite Mind what she wanted instead: kind, considerate,
respectful, honoring in-laws that she enjoyed and
Here's her miracle email:
"Just wanted to pass along some awesome news!! My
husband's parents returned home from vacation this week and
they came to dinner last night at our house. Not only was
it really wonderful and comfortable and easy and fun...
Guess who washed their hands before holding the baby?!?!
Talk about progress! Woo-hoo!" THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU!!" - H.
This email is a miracle because only a few short weeks ago,
she would have preferred to never see them again, let alone
endure an entire dinner!
She used the power of the law of attraction to literally
empower the relationship to have the energy of love,
respect, and harmony all on its' own.
Every relationship experience is caused by our thoughts,
emotions and our expectations.
Therefore, to change our relationship experience we must
change our thoughts and emotions and expectations of the
We want to choose whether to use emotional scribbling or
emotional sparkle to inspire our ideal relationship from
within the one we have.
If we are reacting to what is, then we are using emotional
scribbling to draw our relationship masterpiece.
If we are intentional, conscious, and focused on love and
acceptance, peace and joy, then we are using emotional
sparkle to draw our relationship masterpiece.
In summary, here are the steps:
1) Be willing to love and accept your mate exactly as they
are even if they never change.
2) Decide what you want in the relationship and focus on the
essence of that desire (peace, love, harmony, beauty, joy,
3) Begin to give what you want in the relationship. If you
want more love, start giving more love. If you want more
peace, start being more at peace.
4) Use emotional freedom technique (EFT) or some other
forgiveness tool to eliminate the doubts, fears, and
resentments from your past in order to free yourself from
any self-sabotaging thoughts or expectations.
5) Imagine that you already have the very thing that you
want right now from your mate. Practice this vision over
and over until it becomes a part of your expectation.
When your love of the reality feels truly fulfilling and
your expectation for peace, love, and harmony becomes a
knowingness (a firm level of absolute certainty) then your
physical world will catch up to your emotional world.
This is when you will open your eyes to the change that has
taken place and the materialization of your ideal
relationship will be what you see.
Copyright, 2007: Anisa Aven, www.CreataVision.com
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