Monday, January 02, 2006

Staying in the Feeling

soon after we came down from my sister's and her husband's mountaintop farm yesterday, i encountered my first Magical Mind challenge for this new year.

my sister and brother-in-law dropped us off at our house, on the understanding that we will meet at our father's house later, for New Year's Day family lunch. this gave the kids and i time to rest and refresh ourselves from the long bumpy travel, and change into more suitable city party clothes. at a quarter to 12 noon, we all went out and got into the car, ready for the party.

to our dismay, though, the car wouldn't start again. : ( it revved up weakly, sputtered then just completely wouldn't start.

over the last 3 weeks, we've been suffering the car's going to the mechanic's a number of times, for minor and varied troubles. although the repairs don't cost much each time, they do amount to a lot now. more than that, though, the inconvenience of having your plans go awry at the last minute because of the car not delivering on you, is the costliest of all.

it was the New Year, and we were all still basking in the good feelings from the farm retreat and celebration. but the car's not starting when we needed it to almost burst my balloons instantly. it was soo easy to just cry in frustration and even curse one's bad fortune, quickly spiralling down to negativism, anxiety, worry and self-bashing.

but i made the effort, quickly reminded my self that this is the New Year, i must not do things in the old ways now, the old ways which didnt help much anyway, that this is my chance to put a manifesting lesson into practice, the lesson on Staying in the Feeling of the joy you're having as if what you are manifesting has already come to pass (in Manifesting principles, feeling attracts experiences).

it was difficult to stay in the feeling of joy, thinking of what i wanted to manifest (particularly no. 11 and/or 12 in the list), because i actually felt even farther away from my desires that very moment. so i shifted strategy, and remembered the closest joyful feeling i have already experienced in our so-called reality, and it was the feelings from the farm retreat, so i focused on that instead. : )

it became easier after that. i was even able to thank God for the opportunity to more specifically envision my dream SUV now, fueled by the feelings of frustration converted into desire that i had from my old car which wouldn't start.

at papa's house, when he learned of my car problem (as the kids and i arrived in a taxi), it got papa into thinking about where i could buy a newer but cheaper secondhand car, and it became a table topic for a while. i thanked God even for that, that at least it has planted a seed in papa's mind. (on hindsight now, though, i just realized that i missed the opportunity of jokingly asking him to buy me a new car himself, instead! heehee... : > papa can afford to pay in cash even 5 new cars for me; he's not just very giving. he believes in making us work for what we need and want.i am only learning recently, though, that he can loosen up when you ask with a sense of humor... : > sigh. well, maybe next time...i still need brushing up on my sense-of-humor-while-asking-for-help anyway)

anyway, i congratulate my self for being able to do this quite well now, to shift from the temptation of my natural reactions and to consciously steer my self to be more "proactive" about my situation, even if it's only being proactive about how i choose to feel about it. at least, even if the situation remained the same, i felt good still.

when we arrived home, and i remembered that i should call the mechanic to come pick up the car the next day when his shop opens, i thought to check the car again, just to make sure that indeed it was in trouble.

well, what do you know, when i started the car, it did start zestily this time, as if it didnt have any trouble starting before at all !!! : O

did my good feelings create that experience now? : O

wowww.
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