Friday, January 06, 2006


it is 618am and i just woke up, but i am reeling, as if ive just been slapped or straight-punched. i shouldn't have a clicked a blog link to another blog from a friend's blog this early in the day but how would i know? :(

i rarely read those "Next Blog" links, and only if im really really bored or feeling lonesome (i notice that a lot of them are in the complaining mode, and complainers aren't good company anytime; they do for entertainment though, when you're feeling bored or lonesome... except that you fall one notch down to depression, if you keep at it long enough).

but i do check out blogger friends' blogs from time to time, and then even the blog links to their other friends' blogs. as with all blogging, i get curious too about what's going on in my friends' lives and minds and i learn and grow from the different ways different people see the world, and consoled by the realization that we are all groping in the dark together, trying to find our way to our own truths and answers.

this particular blog that i just read, though, reeked of acid all around. in the guise of smart-alecky sarcasm, the blog writer bashed men, life, seriously doubted her self, yet also revealed a vulnerable good heart so giving and so easily taken in and messed around with by lowlifes. my thinking as i was reading her blog was, if she keeps focusing on these topics, no wonder she keeps having these experiences.

but right now, as im writing this, i blush to realize that i sounded quite like her when i started blogging a little more than a year ago!!! we even have almost the same thoughts and self-doubts, when i was the old me a year ago.

i hope blogging helps heal her as it has helped me; you get the acid out, by and by you eventually run out of sting, then the soft, mellow more beautiful you comes out. i hope she also meets blogger friends who are kind and good and love her in the way she needs to be loved, even if only through words and their own blogs too.

she is too young to be bitter.
we all are too young to be bitter.
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