Feel Good

i re-learned a lesson in Manifesting today: how to feel good -- stay in Joy, keep one's vibes amped, keep one's energies up-- even when outer appearances dictate otherwise.

i thought i've learned that already well enough last year; this was the hardest part of the Manifesting process (know what you want, get clear of negativity/blocking thoughts, feel good/stay in Joy, let go) for me, even harder than getting clear.

with getting clear, there's cybernetic transposition, EFT and journaling to work with. with feeling good, you just must focus on feeling good even when appearances are the opposite, and it's doubly harder in a culture that looks at feeling good-- even when appearances support it--as almost sinful (how dare you be happy when the rest of us are not???).

so anyway, lately, i've been contemplating my budgets for when i take my one-year unpaid leave from my regular work soon (in two months), to follow my creative writing Dream. and i found that with only the resources i have and can count on from my vantage point for now, i need to run a tight ship, to keep the children and i afloat, even as i follow my Dream, once and for all.

so, even with my daily meditations and affirmations and visualizations and Gratitude mode, the "reality" of a tighter budget must have gotten to me, as i've also started feeling tight, crunched, limited... definitely not Abundant at all! and i know by now that this is not the way to be if i want to continue to keep attracting Abundance in my life, no matter how much i intend, affirm, visualize and be thankful for all that i already have in my life. for as long as i'm not really feeling Abundant, i will not attract Abundance!

temporarily, i have forgotten how to get back into Abundance mode again, but an opportunity presented itself to me later in the day today.

a student, who peddles food stuff around the campus during his breaks so he can earn additional income for his school needs, came to the faculty room to sell his stuff. i have always admired this student for his drive and humility and resourcefulness, and whenever he comes to me, i always make it a point to buy P100 worth of food, even if i don't feel like eating (i bring the food home to the kids).

it was easier to do this in the last 6 months or so, with more money having come into my life. i forgot, though, that even with very tight circumstances a year ago, i still managed to buy P100 worth of food from him even then, just because i wanted to help him.

and it was that same feeling of just wanting to help him that overcame me today; so i blew the last of the spare P100 in my wallet to buy food from him.

and what do you know? it instantly lifted my spirits!!!

and then i remembered how it was the year before, when i would do the same, and it lifted my spirits too and kept me feeling good, in Abundance mode, and then, how good and better things so quickly came into my life, from all directions! ... that what i thought was my helping him was actually my helping me too in many ways!

so that is what i re-learned today: the quickest way to stay in the Abundant flow of the Universe is to help somebody else out, aside from always being thankful for what one already has, and keeping one's focus on the good, on the blessings in one's life.

oh, nothing spectacular (yet) has happened after this little incident today; but, getting back into Grace again, feeling this joyous and happy and abundant, is enough miracle for me today.

thank You, God!!!