After 21 Days

Time February 13, 2011 at 4:17 pm; comment posted at Chopra Center's 21-Day Challenge thread

When I embarked on this Challenge, I was clear about my Intention– Wealth.

During the 21 days, that was the easiest thing to manifest. All around me there were seedlings of wealth sprouting in all forms and sending resources my way! I got offers for projects and speaking/training engagements, and my brother even pleasantly surprised me with an advanced birthday offer for a vacation package with my kids anywhere I chose in the Philippines! And the Intention just continues to grow clearer and stronger as I see the seedlings sprouting more and more and growing sturdier everywhere! 

I did not expect, though, for the spotlight to actually be focused on my own heart, which I thought all along was okay and healed and happy already. This Challenge showed me certain still-closed, still-hurting places, and it showed me certain aspects and ways of being and doing that I express, particularly in a primary love relationship, that is doing my Self a disservice, giving too much without expecting anything back. It taught me: how can I receive all the wealth and abundance God has in store for me when I do not allow my self also to receive all the Love that I deserve, as a worthy Child of God and the Universe?

At present, this relationship is in a flux, because I have changed, I have transformed during these 21 days, and I have stopped a way of being and doing that was previously what kept our relationship together. I have decided not to leave this relationship, though, but to see it through, because I do love the person I am with. I just understand now that I need to stand still and be patient and gentle, as I wait out this uncomfortable space, for Love to further reveal itself to us, and for him to do his part, too. If he doesn’t, I’m still okay; I’ve released the outcome to the Universe. For now, I’ve decided that I’ll just give this all I’ve got and wait it out even as I do inner work. 

So, thank you, Chopra Center and all my fellow journeyers here!

I started out just wanting more money (heehee), and ended up with a softer, more healed heart, a relationship in the throes of transformation, and even a career direction also currently in the midst of questioning and evaluation and discernment.

Thank you for all these gifts! I know I am being set more and more aright with my True Self now.

Namaste, and abundant blessings to us all!

Jeanette

God, Energy and Bea's Question

i was driving to and back from Paolo's friend's house this evening, where he's been sleeping over for the 2nd night in a row now, to bring him a fresh change of clothes.  

while driving on almost auto-pilot mode, i was deep inside my self, turning over in my mind all the many lessons i learned from this morning's presentation by CENECO general manager, Mr. Sulpicio Lagarde, Jr. i invited him weeks ago to speak to my Econ1 classes on electricity generation, transmission, distribution and costs and energy efficiency and sustainability, in relation to our class lessons on production and cost theory. he surpassed our expectations by also discussing concerns on global warming and the need to downscale our postmodern energy-dependent lifestyles, as well as inspired us to do something about our laws and systems to support a more sustainable and energy-renewable lifestyle.  

i was particularly struck by the metaphor that hit me of the process of generation, transmission and distribution. he said that 138,000 volts from the main generator becomes converted to only 13,200 volts by the transmission line, and even further down to 230 volts when it's distributed, because of conduction resistance. and it struck me that Energy generation, transmission and distribution is like God's Spirit and Blessings--  

God is the generator and He/She yearns to give us All things Good and in Abundance, but we, as transmission/distribution lines, can only take so much, because of "resistance", and so whatever Good there is flowing through us becomes diluted in more digestible form, although they are still Good, of course.  

and then i remembered one lesson i learned years ago from my Silva Method readings and courses, about an elementary principle in electricity: the best conductor is the one with the least impedance/resistance.  


and i thought how this is explained now by what happens when one goes regularly and deeply into meditation practice: how one gets clearer, less "impeded", thus one experiences more Good in one's life, both as a receiver and as a channel for Good too for others.  

and then my youngest, 9-year-old Bea, who has been sitting quietly in the dark back seat of the car i forgot she was there, suddenly pipes up: Ma, what's the difference between a spirit and a soul? (this has happened so often already, how the kids pick up on the direction of my secret thoughts while i'm driving, that i take it as naturally as breathing now!)  

and so, inhaling deeply, i gave it my best shot, responding from my heart: Spirit is that invisible part of you which is a part of God's Spirit, while Soul is that invisible part of you which is you, your personality, your emotions, your talents and likes and dislikes, 'langga (dear one).  

Bea: like twins?  

me: ye-esss... sort of, except that they're together, they stick together, there's just one invisible you, and part of it is Spirit and part of it is Soul.  

Bea: what's our body for, then?  

me: (pause) me: we-ell... it's like our clothes, or the car we drive, to make our way in this earth. since the earth is a physical thing, then we need to be put in something physical too.  


Bea: wowwww... so it's like, we go in and out of different bodies?  

me: ye-eess. after we die, we go back to the lower levels of Heaven closest to the earth, and we review our life and see how we did and what lessons we learned and what lessons we didn't learn. and then, we decide what to learn next so we can improve and get closer to being more like God. the more we become like God, the higher we go up in Heaven, until someday, we are together with God again, completely, and we never have to be apart again.  


Bea: so earth is like school, and Heaven, too? there are many levels?  

me: yes.  

Bea: so right now, i'm also made up of some dead person's spirit and soul?  

me: ye-es... and that dead person before was you too.  

Bea: wowwwww.... so i'm many persons?  

me: yes.... in this earth, living many lives, at different times and places, like taking many subjects, until you master them all and become perfect like God.  


Bea: if God made me, and God is already perfect, why didn't He make me perfect too, so i don't have to be separated from Him in the first place?  

me: (long pause)  

Bea: well?  


me: God did make us all perfect. And He also gave us free will. So we were perfect to start with, but with our free will, we chose to do things which made us imperfect... until we learn that it really doesn't work out for us in the end when we insist on our own way...  

Bea: why would i want to do imperfect things? (Bea is our perfectionist in the family.)  

me: you don't think they're imperfect when you choose to do them; you think they're perfect, especially when you haven't spent time with God a lot.  

Bea: ok.  

me: (silent prayer: God, where is she going with all this??? Holy Spirit, help me!)  

Bea: so if i don't want to do imperfect things that i thought were perfect, i should spend more time with God? me: yes. so you will know God's Heart. and His Heart connects with your heart more strongly. and you can hear His Heart in your heart more clearly.  

Bea: ok. that makes sense.  


by this time, we had arrived home.  

and Bea ran out to eat her newly-bought Berry Strawberry ice cream in front of the tv. while i-- i am left with these thoughts, and shell-shocked by the experience.  

whoa, where did all that come from???