Thursday, November 15, 2007

the "downside" of meditation

if there is a downside to meditation, it is this: that in the process of more closely aligning with your truest Self, you have to at least be open to the idea of of letting go of some stuff in your life that don't really support, align or are compatible with your truest Self anymore.

that is why maybe i only do my meditations once every 3 days. more would be too much to take.

these days, though, ive been doing them daily, and i keenly sense rapid transformations happening, even if they haven't manifested yet.

one thing that i sense as changing now is my relationship with two good friends, with whom ive been working on a project with for the last 2 years now. the project is good, my friends are good... but lately, ive been sensing and noticing some significant cracks in what we have-- or what we have been working hard to have-- and it basically has to do with my very incompatible values and perspectives about life and people (which affects how we run the project) with one of them, who's leading the team. i don't want to argue anymore because this is about values; you can't change people's values to mesh with your own through talking. it's whether you mesh or you don't.

the last time i meditated frequently was around april-june of this year-- not only everyday but even two to three times a day when the fallout actually happened. i was meditating for a healthy, happy and abundant longlasting love with someone i had fallen in love with and was about to meet for real... in the end, i lost him; or, more appropriate to say, he lost me.

i see now that my constant meditating and praying then became an accelerated purifying process. what would have took me months or even years more to see took me only around 12 weeks.

my prayer for a healthy, happy and abundant longlasting love with my True Soulmate still stands. what i see now, though, is that it effectively removed from my life whom i thought was The One, to clear the way for Someone better, finer, and more compatible with my spiritual path.

hmmmm... i'm sort of rambling here, i guess.

i guess it just bothers me: the realization that i will have to leave my two friends soon, to let them know of my decision, that i will be moving on in my life without them close by through our project...

you know that moment in life when, in your heart, you really just know something has ended?

that's what im feeling like now, like sort of relieved for finally seeing and accepting the truth of the situation... yet sad too, for the inevitable parting of ways that has to come.

still, a quote from The Universe which i got in my inbox this morning made me smile:

You've got to clear your plate if you want dessert.

: )
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