Wednesday, May 24, 2006

getting out of my way

i must be getting better at this stuff, basically just getting out of my way.

i was lying in bed last night, on my tummy, drawing my budget again for the next period. i thank God that, compared to previous years at this time of year (school opening season with all the school opening expenses), i am able to meet my obligations, and even have something more to settle old standing ones. still, after drawing my budget, though, i realized that there were two things i will have to postpone for a while, as we didn't have the funds for them-- a complete car tune-up (just to get the new car on a good start) and new clothes for the kids and i (they're outgrowing theirs, thea is even wearing mine now, and my old clothes are ... well... really old, as in circa married days and even pre-married days! a lifetime ago...).

anyway, as what usually happens when i discover that my current and expected funds are not enough to cover all foresseen needs, i start getting anxious, trying to brainstorm now solutions for either how i could generate more and/or how we could live with less.

i actually started doing that, this time, marking a new page on my notebook, "Solutions", when i remembered Anisa Aven's manifesting template (you submit a manifesting story to her, she sends you this template). which basically says that manifesting is basically a three-step process: create your Intent, vibrate with your Intent (through Gratitude, faith, positive expectancy, inspired action preparing to receive your Intent), and receive your Intent. but along the way, we usually get sidetracked on a detour around and through our blocks (fear, doubt, anxiety, negative emotions and thoughts, etc.) and it is this that we need practice working through by clearing them.

for last night, though, with this remembrance and recognition, i just simply decided to not entertain the sprouting anxiety, doubts and fears. i actually wrote in my notebook with a big circle and a big star and a big arrow-- "This is for God/the Universe to work on. I will just create the space, and watch and wait."

after writing that, i went to sleep (as sleep is an effective antidote for me in chasing anxieties and blues away) at 630 pm, while waiting for dinner.

i must've overslept though, as i was only awakened by thea because of a phone call.

it was my brother, T, who shared good news-- mama's tax refund of $5000 had just come through and mama said it was to be divided among T, our sister and i!!!

oohhh wowwww.....

how faster things manifest when we are cleared of all the blocks, huh?!!!

even now, i am still sooooo amazed.
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