When in Doubt On Whether To Stay or To Go

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Quick Manifesting Morsels with Anisa Aven:

Q: I love your site and your devotion to helping others manifest their dreams! I always get so excited when I get your newsletter because I know it will have some helpful hint I need that day!! I have a question about the law of attraction and manifesting. I find that I can easily manifest things I do not have a strong attachment to, but when it comes to big things, like relationships, I am not so lucky.

For years I have been hanging onto a relationship with a guy I believe to be my soul mate, only it has been a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings, some good and some bad. It is heartbreaking to me because I feel like I have all the tools to create the beautiful, romantic soul mate relationship I desire with this person but I can't seem to get it right. I know I cannot control his feelings but am I wrong to think that the law of attraction can help this situation? I know I should just focus on the relationship I desire instead of the face it comes with, but I feel so strongly attached to this person and want to experience the love I desire with him. Any insight you have would be so much appreciated. Thanks for all you do!

- Erin

A: Thank you for your kind words, Erin.

When we focus on what we want, what we desire, we send forth an energetic signal that is creative. However, that signal is not vibrationally aligned with what we say we want but instead it is aligned with 'the longing' for what we want. Desire is a descending emotion filled with longing, an intense wish for something that we feel separate from.

It's the experience of separation that prevents us from intentionally creating. As long as we feel separate from the essence of our desire, we vibrate in opposition to it.

"You can't have what you want." - God, in A Conversation with God by Neale Donald Walsch

You have to change your 'wanting' to 'accepting'.

The 'trick' to re-creating a relationship is to be willing to never have that relationship be that which you say you want. (emphases mine.) Instead you must be willing to focus on the experience of love and fulfillment that is the essence of your true desire.

This translates to sheer willingness to accept whatever is, as exactly what's meant to be. It means being willing to let this relationship go; and to be willing to accept it exactly as it is, as perfect in and of itself, even if it never changes.

From this willingness, your thoughts soften and a greater sense of tranquility will prevail. Within this state of mind lies the energetic framework required to inspire and attract the real relationship you want, the essence of your real desire.

The framework I'm referring to is an intention to unconditionally love and accept your partner exactly as they are, filled with the wonder of life as one of God's perfect Divine souls.

For as you send forth real love and light, you free their inner being to return the love.

From the 72 Names of God, by Yehuda Berg:

"�You must offer unconditional love and true light to your friends and even those you see as enemies if you want to receive peace and serenity in your own life. You must see the soul of the other person and connect to it.

�the key to this Universal law is the offering of true light and unconditional kindness. The reason is, unconditional love and authentic light immediately penetrate the soul of the other party, awakening love and light in return."

Now, you'll notice that I used the word 'trick' above because that's exactly what you're doing. You are tricking your thoughts into a place of greater vibrational illumination.

Of course, there are times when it's simply more comfortable to move away from what is than to re-create it. Re-creating a relationship, a job, or a health issue, for example, when we are steeped in the diagnosis of 'the way that it is' requires a great deal of courage, attention, intention, time, and faith.

I won't say that I haven't taken the easier road at times because I have. When my children's doctor didn't believe in naturopathic options, I didn't try to 're-create' that relationship; I didn't use the law of attraction to inspire him to come around.

In this situation the path of least resistance was simply finding a doctor that was more aligned with my family's beliefs.

Long standing relationships will be more challenging to re-create because of their 'story'; because the relationship has so much history and evidence to prove it is the way it is.

My current relationship is the best I've ever had. I feel madly in love, cherished, cared for, and passionate about our future. When he's away, I can't wait for him to get home.

My brother borrowed him for two weekends in a row to help build a storage shed. (Unfortunately, people are always borrowing my honey because he's pretty crafty with a hammer.) By the 2nd weekend, I was a little pest calling them both and whining, "When are you going to be done? What about me?!?!"

My brother said, "I didn't know you were that needy!?!" I just giggled because the truth is I'm the furthest thing from needy but I did miss my honey! This is a very fresh and very good feeling.

It wasn't always this way, however. My honey and I have a history of power struggles. At one point I threw up my hands and said, "I'm done! I just don't want this anymore."

This was the precise moment when I was able to re-create the relationship. To tell you the truth, I thought at the time I'd have to let him go. I thought it would be easier to start over than to re-create this one. And, I was willing.

However, I focused on willingness, acceptance, love, and hope instead.

Then, as if by magic, the relationship turned into the most special love of my life.

Another point I'd like to briefly discuss is one's attachment to the 'idea' about how a relationship should look. Recently a friend emailed that her partner said, "I'm just not good at relationships and marriage just doesn't suit me."

She wants marriage and he doesn't. When resistance to the relationship comes in the form of resistance to the 'structure' of the relationship, you will want to consider whether it's the 'form' or the 'love' that is the most important.

It's okay to want marriage and if your partner doesn't want that, you may have to let them go. Or, you may find that it's easier and more aligned with what you want to let go of the 'form' and love the relationship and your mate exactly as they are. Remember, millions of couples are happily (and permanently) coupled without the 'form' of marriage.

If you want to re-create a relationship, inspire it to be all that you desire, you must start with that willingness that I mentioned above. Then send forth such a great deal of unconditional love and acceptance that the light from your heart transforms the situation.

At some point there will be a fork in the road; an opportunity to stay because it's obvious that you can use the power of love to support the relationship you want or an opportunity to let it go. In spite of your love for your mate, it will become obvious that it would be easier to accept them as they are and let them go than to change them (and your thoughts about them).

Your intentional unconditional love and acceptance will either inspire the relationship to new heights of adoration or you will become acutely aware of the relationship's incapacity to give anymore than it's already giving.

At this point, you won't be able to judge them for being the way they are. Instead, you will honor the Divine within them and trust that the Universal spirit is guiding you to a better relationship once you let this one go.

Either way, you will experience a peaceful resolve first. This will be your cue that you are indeed aligned with the wonderful love you desire.

Copyright, 2007: Anisa Aven, www.CreataVision.com This article is available for free reprint.

Money will always flow into whatever you have created in your life to receive it!

i am taking another break from working on my project paper, and i pick up where i left off in my reading of Shakti Gawain's Living in the Light. i come to this chapter on "Money" and this line hits me like a huge universal (welcome) bop on the head, i can still see the stars exploding--

"Money will always flow into whatever you have created in your life to receive it."

***

no wonder when we "save for a rainy day", the rainy day comes! when we set aside amounts in our budget for medical/hospital bills, the medical/hospital expenses come!!! : O omigod. i am only seeing it clearly for the first time now.

i have long experience with almost a perpetual lack of money, and only very new experience with abundance now, but what i can relate to most was in the early years of my struggling to get the children and i out of the debts from the marriage, and to get back on our feet again, it would happen time and again that whatever extra money i earned or received (this was already during the phase where i consciously focused on abundance, not lack, always thanking for my blessings and staying in gratitude, so money always came in somehow), i would only be able to enjoy the joyous feeling for a day, at most, and then something would break down at home, some needed repairs, some new emergencies, etc., would crop up that would entail my using the new money for those.

knowing this principle now, i understand: i did not create anything new to receive the new money coming into my life, so they got channeled to whatever was there--our needs-- and since our previous needs were already met, the energy of the new money created the energy of the new needs (repairs, emergencies, etc.)!!!

ohhh, wowww.

this is interesting validation of what i've been experiencing lately, too, you see.

since november when i've updated the house mortgage arrears, i've somehow left the monthly payments slip again, because the amount i've budgeted for the monthly payments somehow get eaten up by new needs coming up every month.

well, last month, as i saw the monthly arrears piling up again, i resolved to get a grip on my self and focus on erasing that buildup again. so to help me along, i created a separate envelope and marked it "for paying off house monthly mortgage payments", and set aside an initial seed amount there covering two months (the mortgage company doesn't accept partial updating now), and placed the envelope in the bottom drawer of my dresser, so that i will not touch that money anymore (i used to just place all my money in my wallet).

well, what do you know? i noticed that since i did that, i was asked to do extra work, services, etc. which paid me additional income here and there, and which helped me now to add to the amount in the envelope, so much so that i can see my self fully updating the mortgage again by next month, at the latest!

and now, i read about this principle! (the only other principle explained in the chapter was: money is just a symbol of universal creative energies, and since universal creative energies are limitless, money can be limitless; we don't have to compete, work our lives off doing work we didn't love to do, etc. the solution is to get in the flow, do what you love, do what builds your energies up, and the money will just follow.)

***

so, i've just finished creating 3 more envelopes now (creating the receptacles to receive : >)--

one, marked "Additional Income/Wealth";
two, marked "Disneyworld Christmas and New Year with the kids (and M!)" : ); and
three, marked "House and Home Improvement and Beautification" (including a move to our dream home at Ayala North Point, or elsewhere better :>)

-- deliberately creating positive receptacles for money to flow in now, instead of just creating them by default (not creating at all, so new money flows into newly created needs) or negatively ("rainy days").

i'll update here on what happens with this new experiment of mine. : )

obviously, i am excited. like a kid on her new bike--

look ma, no hands! :D

The Best Definition of Meditation I've Ever Read

If you know how to worry, you know how to meditate. It simply means to think of something over and over! : )

The New Biology

These presentations by cell scientist, Dr. Bruce Lipton, give astounding and profound evidence and support to universal manifesting (creation) principles, from a cellular/physical point of view.

They are downloadable free from Google Videos, in two parts. If you are in a hurry, though, I suggest you go quickly to the meat of the matter, the second part, but viewing both only enriches and enlarges one's knowledge and experience.

Click here for the links:

The New Biology -- Where Mind and Matter Meet, Part 1
The New Biology -- Where Mind and Matter Meet, Part 2

Enjoy!

Recreating Your Relationships through LOA

Reprinted in full from Anisa Aven's free email newsletter. For details on Ms. Aven's work, please check out her website at the end of this post. Thank you!

***

Q: How can I find harmony and peace with my husband? I am a
"Polly Anna", eternally optimistic and believe in the law of
attraction. He is the eternal pessimist and a true "Sarah
Burnhart"... What can I do?- C.

A:

With a relationship that is core-attitude incompatible such
as a Pollyanna and an Oscar-the-Grouch, the one that
understands the power of the mind, is the one that can
intentionally create peace and harmony in the relationship.

In other words, the one that is willing to intentionally
apply the law of attraction to improve the relationship is
the one that will ultimately be the cause of that
experience.

Of course, there's a couple of catches!

When we choose to change or grow our relationship, we must
do this by being willing to first, accept the relationship
as it is; without exception and without an attachment to the
change we desire. I'll explain why this is true, shortly.

Second, it's important to remember that there's always a
price and a pay-off to every change. When we choose to
intentionally change a relationship, we can ultimately
attract our ideal relationship (even from within the one we
have) but not without change.

Therefore, be open, willing, and prepared for changes. It
may not come in the package or form that we originally
planned. Remember, there are two creators involved here and
therefore compromise, flexibility and growth will be
required on both sides. This is true whether both parties
are aware of the intentions of the other or not.

Now, getting back to the first catch, you must apply the law
of detachment by accepting that your mate may never change
and be willing to be at peace with this exactly as it
stands, forever.

Making peace with your reality is the art of detachment.
Practicing detachment does not mean you are giving up on
your desire for a more harmonious relationship.

Quite the contrary, you are giving up on your desire to have
your mate be someone they are not. You keep the desire for
harmony and that becomes your magnetic beacon.

By focusing on the essence of harmony and calling that into
your experience, you literally inspire those around you to
act, be, and do things that are in alignment with that
harmony. And, you inspire yourself to not be present when
this isn't the case.

You are, through the intentional act of surrendering to what
is, exchanging attachment for detachment, resentment for
forgiveness and rejection for love.

Therefore, if you want to inspire changes within your
relationship, choose to surrender to loving it just the way
it is.

Then, begin to put your focus, attention, and intention on
the love, harmony, optimism, fun, adventure, connection,
passion, etc. that you want to experience at the core of
your being.

By imagining that you experience these things within the
relationship every day, you create a wave of magnetic energy
that ripples through your home. Your loved ones will
literally feel inspired to ride that wave and in a boomerang
fashion return the love you are sending out, as if they no
longer want to present their 'negative' face but instead
feel compelled to be more harmonious around you.

Recently, a client had a major breakthrough with her
relationship with her in-laws. It required a great deal of
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), creative visualization
and a willingness to love them exactly as they are.

She used EFT to eliminate her picture of how they are,
including her belief that they were disrespectful and
indifferent to her needs and that they were and always would
be selfish, self-righteous and overbearing. She then used
a great deal of creative visualization to implant into the
Infinite Mind what she wanted instead: kind, considerate,
respectful, honoring in-laws that she enjoyed and
appreciated.

Here's her miracle email:

"Just wanted to pass along some awesome news!! My
husband's parents returned home from vacation this week and
they came to dinner last night at our house. Not only was
it really wonderful and comfortable and easy and fun...
Guess who washed their hands before holding the baby?!?!
Talk about progress! Woo-hoo!" THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU!!" - H.

This email is a miracle because only a few short weeks ago,
she would have preferred to never see them again, let alone
endure an entire dinner!

She used the power of the law of attraction to literally
empower the relationship to have the energy of love,
respect, and harmony all on its' own.

Every relationship experience is caused by our thoughts,
emotions and our expectations.

Therefore, to change our relationship experience we must
change our thoughts and emotions and expectations of the
relationship.

We want to choose whether to use emotional scribbling or
emotional sparkle to inspire our ideal relationship from
within the one we have.

If we are reacting to what is, then we are using emotional
scribbling to draw our relationship masterpiece.

If we are intentional, conscious, and focused on love and
acceptance, peace and joy, then we are using emotional
sparkle to draw our relationship masterpiece.

In summary, here are the steps:

1) Be willing to love and accept your mate exactly as they
are even if they never change.

2) Decide what you want in the relationship and focus on the
essence of that desire (peace, love, harmony, beauty, joy,
passion, etc.)

3) Begin to give what you want in the relationship. If you
want more love, start giving more love. If you want more
peace, start being more at peace.

4) Use emotional freedom technique (EFT) or some other
forgiveness tool to eliminate the doubts, fears, and
resentments from your past in order to free yourself from
any self-sabotaging thoughts or expectations.

5) Imagine that you already have the very thing that you
want right now from your mate. Practice this vision over
and over until it becomes a part of your expectation.

When your love of the reality feels truly fulfilling and
your expectation for peace, love, and harmony becomes a
knowingness (a firm level of absolute certainty) then your
physical world will catch up to your emotional world.

This is when you will open your eyes to the change that has
taken place and the materialization of your ideal
relationship will be what you see.

Copyright, 2007: Anisa Aven, www.CreataVision.com

All Rights Reserved. For specific article reprint rights, please visit here.

Love and Magic

Once you access the power of love, your life will change in a heartbeat
By Diane Goldner

It's no wonder that we celebrate the power of the heart on Valentine's Day. The heart is truly a mystical gateway, the seat of the soul.

On Valentine's Day we revel in the beauty of romantic love, with heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, cards, ruby red roses, and candle-lit dinners for two. Yet mystics and saints tell us that this love is just a taste of the divine love that we can find in our own hearts. A Hindu saint once summed it up: "The heart is the hub of all sacred places," he commanded. "Go there and roam."

In every religion the heart is celebrated as precious and magical, a place of harmony, compassion, love, and healing. In Catholic art, Jesus Christ is often shown with a heart so illuminated it is on fire. In Sanskrit writings, the blazing light of the heart is said to be so great it can burn away all impurities. In the Kabbalah, the mystical branch of Judaism, the light associated with the heart, tiferet, is at the very center of the tree of life. It is where everything comes into perfect balance.

In the East the heart is considered to be the seat of consciousness. After all, it is when we strip away the chatter of the mind that we can live in the wisdom of the heart. The Tibetan mantra om mani padme hum means, in translation, "The jewel of consciousness is in the heart's lotus." And the Chinese word for heart, xin, means both "heart" and "mind." In acupuncture, the heart is viewed as the seat of the spirit.

Since I first began exploring this mystical terrain, I have been continually awed and inspired by the power of our hearts. I used to think romantic love was the apex of it all. Romantic love is stunning, of course. But the deeper I delved into the heart, the more I learned that love can be transcendent. I found that the love in our hearts can shine the way the sun shines--on everything and everyone and at all times. The love we feel for our beloved and our children and family members can be brought to everything and everyone.

For me, a deeper understanding of the heart began when I started to investigate spiritual healing. I watched as healers laid hands on people and caused profound changes and insights. Naturally, I wanted to know how that could possibly happen. Being a diligent, persistent reporter back then, I asked every healer I interviewed: "How does healing work?" They would often answer. "Through love. It's love that heals."

I always wanted to say: "Yes. Yes. But how does healing really work?" Their answer didn't make too much sense to me. I thought of myself as a loving person. But I knew that if I laid hands on another person, not much would happen. For a long time, I was completely baffled by the healings that I witnessed.

Then I began to have experiences of a more subtle realm than the physical. I discovered that I could shift the rhythm of my heart just by shifting my thoughts and focus. When I did, the whole world changed. At first, this seemed to happen by accident. One of the first times I noticed it happening, I was at a writers' conference. I was in a room, trying to sleep, listening to two people chatting outside, four floors below. The longer they talked, the more enraged I got. Finally I decided to meditate to pass the time.

At some point, I realized I had expanded so much I was present with the people talking outside. I no longer wanted to kill them. I felt only a sense of presence. I was everywhere, radiant. It felt great. I realized that the man doing most of the talking felt lonely. He was just trying to fill himself up. I felt so much love and compassion for him. Our hearts touched. Then he and his friend were saying goodnight. He finally got the connection he needed-from me!

Later I began to experiment more consciously. One of the most vivid experiences occurred in an electronics store, of all places. I went to return an alarm clock and, lucky me, ended up with a very unpleasant sales clerk who seemed intent on giving me a hard time. My first impulse was to be nasty right back. The situation began to escalate. Then I decided to try connecting to my heart center. I didn't know if anything would happen or, at that point, if the energy in my heart was really "real," but immediately, as if by magic, the sales clerk's mood shifted and she became very pleasant and helpful. It was as if I had flipped a light switch. I was amazed to see my inner state reflected so quickly on the outside, and in another person.

You can turn to the energy of your heart just as easily. All you have to do is imagine a radiant white light in your heart. You can even imagine the light in your heart connecting to the light in another person's heart, whether you are in the room with this person or in another part of the country. You will probably see some kind of effect. Don't worry if you don't see the light; just trust that it's there. You can do this to enhance a loving relationship or even to create more harmony and a higher flow in a difficult situation. The more you do it, without pushing or trying for a result, the more harmony and ease you will begin to notice.

Being in an expanded heart space is a spiritual experience. But there is also some science to help us understand how the spirit of the heart works. Researchers at the Institute of HeartMath (an organization in Boulder Creek, California, devoted to studying the heart) have found that when people focus on a state of appreciation and love, their heart rhythm quite literally expands and becomes more harmonious. To measure this, researchers use EKGs and computer analysis to graph the heart-rate variability of a person and map it as a sine wave. During a state of love and appreciation, the sine wave of a person's heart rate rhythm may become twice as big as usual, and much more even and orderly.

Physiologically, what is occurring is that a person's breath slows down and the heart synchronizes to the breathing. During the inhalation, the heart beats faster than usual. On the exhalation, the heart slows. "I'm not saying we can measure the frequencies of love," says HeartMath researcher Rollin McCraty. "But when we feel love, it causes real changes in our body that we can measure."

Researchers at Harvard Medical School found the same kind of expanded heart rhythm occurring in long-time meditators during meditation sessions. One of the Harvard researchers called it an "exuberant" rhythm. In their report in Psychosomatic Medicine, the Harvard researchers speculated that humans might have a special "resonant frequency" at which many different biological rhythms--such as the heart rate and the breath--become synchronized. We humans seem to reach this resonant frequency, which creates harmony in the body, when we feel peace, gratitude, love and appreciation.

As I became more attuned to my own heart, I found I could sense other people's heart rhythms in my own heart. It turns out a person's heartbeat can be measured by delicate electromagnetic sensors from as far as four feet away. So what I began to experience is actually quite natural. At first, it seemed to happen only when I was doing a hands-on healing. Now, connecting my heart to my client's heart is the basis of my healings. As I work, I can literally feel my client's heart unwind and expand and come to rest in my heart rhythm. I can't force it. I just invite it. I allow. I accept the person's heart right where it is. As soon as I do, his or her heart usually opens. It melts into mine. I think a lot of healers work this way, sometimes even when they don't know it. There are even a few studies that show the client's heart comes into synchronicity with the healer's heart.

Once that union occurs, we're together. I'm not really "doing" a healing anymore. We're in the same psychic space. If I hold a healing state, a state of deep peace and harmony, a state of total unconditional acceptance and presence, a person will accept it--just like if you pluck a guitar string, the sound will resonate through the whole room. In that space of the heart, people's pain, physical, emotional, mental or spiritual, can melt away.

Over time, I found that I could put my hands anywhere on a person, and our hearts will unite. Recently, I was visiting with my nephews when one of their friends got his finger slammed in a van door that closed automatically-and too quickly. The mom dropping the kids off couldn't react fast enough to stop the disaster. The kid, a boy of about ten, was absolutely hysterical from the pain. I didn't have time to go to his heart first to calm him down. So I worked directly on his finger. As I started the healing, my heart slowed down and expanded, as it does when I'm doing healings. The boy's heart began to "float" on my heart. Soon he was calm and quiet. After perhaps ten minutes the swelling and bruising in his finger had subsided, along with the pain. "I'm okay now," he said to me. He ran out to go play with his buddies.

Healing doesn't come from forcing something to change. It actually comes from accepting and loving what is. Things melt in that radiant love, whether its physical pain or emotional, even anger and broken bones or hurting guts or poverty consciousness. If you ever want to help someone grow or change, love them. Love them as they are. Hold for others the same awe and appreciation you feel when you look at something beautiful, like a mountain or an ocean, for each of us is beautiful in a profound way. Truly, that kind of unconditional love is the ultimate magic. You can even help yourself to grow and change by holding that state of love for yourself as well.

So this Valentine's Day, why don't you try a dose of that unconditional love? It will do wonders for your romance and your heart.

Meditation questions

i am just finishing class 2 of my free online meditation course this week, and i would like to ask from anyone out there who might be reading this and is also experienced in meditation if my experience is common and how to deal with it.

the first time i used the guided meditation audio in class 2, at that part where one is guided to go to the bottom of the ocean/one's deepest self, i spontaneously just cried so profusely. it was both so profoundly deep and beautiful. by the way, when i did this meditation, in my visualization, my Beloved-- who, due to work and financial reasons, is currently apart from me-- joined me in my visualization. i mean, he was there, from start to finish. it seemed so natural so i just let the images flow. so anyway, when i came to that bottom of the ocean part, he was right there with me too, facing me and smiling and holding my hands. and it was when i cried; no one has ever been this close to me before.

the next time i used the same session, though, i thought i should tell him in my visualization that he should just rest and sleep, and that i should do this alone. anyway, when i came to the floating over the ocean part, the image of him sleeping on his tummy, seemingly with his arm over the body of a woman, flashed. my immediate reaction to that image was to turn away and to forget about it, but i couldn't, so even as the session proceeded, i was bothered, so i forced my self to look at the image again.

when i looked closely this time, apparently, what i thought was the very white body of a still, sleeping woman, was a white blanket covering a huge pillow.

even in my meditation, i wondered why this image happened in the first place. and then, the answer just came to me just as quickly, "face your deepest fear."

and i cried again profusely at this, because indeed, this was my deepest fear, to be betrayed this way again (i left my previous and only marriage because of this and many other betrayals, 5 years ago). and as i stayed there and forced my self to look at the image, i cried at the realization of how this has been the major block in my relationship with my Beloved now (whom i have known only for 8 months but who has shown seriousnss and consistency in both his words and actions at building a life and future together for us),as far as im concerned,because im always quick to think of negative thoughts, etc. whenever he's away or not communicating with me for a while...

anyway, in both instances, i cried from being touched so deeply, and after the last session two days ago, ive stopped meditating for a while, because im afraid now of what other fears it may force me to confront but which im not ready for...

so im asking now of more experienced meditators out there-- is this a common experience in meditation (dredging up one's deepest fears)? and what does one do/how does one deal with this?

thank you for whatever help/enlightenment any one can extend.

many blessings!